something i have't told many people
Written to Speak Daily Blog. Written by Tanner Olson.
i’m tired of trying to be
everyone and anything
to everyone and everything
will you remind me
You created me to
only be
only me
i can only be me
written to speak // blog // @writtentospeak
. . . .
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. . . .
April is here and I don’t know how to feel about it.
I’m not sure I’m supposed to feel one way or another, but it feels like we just said goodbye to 2018.
Time is a constant and confusing friend and the older I am the faster it passes.
Recently I was thinking about my childhood and who the boy I was thought of the man I would become.
Boy Tanner got 90% wrong of what Adult Tanner eventually became.
Pretty close.
If you’ve been reading over the years, it won’t come as a shock that growing up I wanted to be in the NBA, but that’s not all I wanted to be.
This is something I haven’t told many people, but something I think I should start sharing:
I want to do stand-up comedy.
There it is.
Let me say it again.
I want to do stand-up comedy.
I don’t want to be a comedian.
Being a comedian sounds like too much pressure.
“Hey, what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a comedian.”
“Tell me a joke.”
“I have to go.”
I don’t want to be a comedian, but I want to try stand-up.
Just once.
Maybe twice.
It’s scary to tell people what you want to do with your life.
But if we don’t tell people, how will they ever know?
How can they check in on us or support us?
.. .. ..
Last week I was talking with a friend and she told me it didn’t work out.
He didn’t want to try anymore.
He gave up on what could have been.
She had been talking with a guy and things were heading in a hopeful direction when, all of a sudden, he backed out.
As we talked I asked her if there was something she would have done differently.
She told me her excitement got the best of her and she wish she had not told as many people about him.
Maybe you’ve been there, too.
I have.
It can be embarrassing and shameful to admit something didn’t work out.
Relationships. Dreams. Jobs. Diets. Goals.
It’s almost as if we don’t want people to know we are humans.
In the time I’ve had here, I’ve learned it’s not going to go as we planned, but it’s going to go.
The older I get, the faster time seems to pass and the more valuable it becomes.
There is much I want to see and do with the time I have left.
And one of those things is to try stand-up comedy.
And if it doesn’t work out.
Well, then I’m still a human.
And time is still a constant and confusing friend.
//
much love,
tanner olson
written to speak
