Restroom Etiquette
Last week I was at a conference in Houston, Texas.
I was making a trip to the restroom and right as I was about to walk in, two guys walked out and one said, “Well it was sure nice to meet you.”
They were smiling and joking and I thought that must have been terrible.
Who makes friends in the restroom?
This isn’t a coffee shop or bar.
Keep yourself to yourself.
That’s my restroom anthem.
The last place I want to talk with someone is in the restroom.
I religiously observe the 3 no’s of restroom etiquette:
One: No talking.
Two: No eye contact.
Three: No messes.
An hour or so later I went back to the restroom.
At conferences it’s important to stay hydrated and awake, which meant I was filling my body with water and then coffee and then water and then coffee.
I walked in and a man was at the first urinal, so I made my way to the other end.
Another one of my rules is to always leave space.
There is nothing worse than when someone stands right next to you at the urinal when there are others to choose from.
The man looked familiar, but I wasn’t going to say anything.
I finished and made my way to the sinks to wash my hands.
The man was still in the restroom with me.
We made eye contact in the mirror and I broke one of my rules.
Then we said hello and I broke another one of my rules.
“Hi! I’m Chad.”
“Chad, I’m Tanner. It’s nice to meet you.”
We finished washing our hands and then shook hands.
It was the cleanest handshake of my life.
If you’re going to break any of the restroom rules, this is the only acceptable place in the restroom to do so.
Chad was speaking at the conference and I was emceeing the event.
We have a long list of mutual friends and our paths have almost crossed before, but we had yet to introduce ourselves.
Until now.
In the restroom of all places.
Who makes friends in the restroom?
Apparently, I do.
Chad Bird is a Scholar in Residence at 1517. He has served as a pastor, professor, and guest lecturer in Old Testament and Hebrew. He holds master’s degrees from Concordia Theological Seminary and Hebrew Union College. He has contributed articles to Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, Modern Reformation, The Federalist, Lutheran Forum, and other journals and websites. He is also the author of several books, including The Christ Key & Limping with God.
About the Author
Tanner Olson is an author, poet, speaker, and podcaster living in Nashville, Tennessee.
He is the author of I’m All Over the Place, As You Go, Walk A Little Slower, and Continue: Poems and Prayers of Hope.
You can find Tanner Olson’s books on Amazon.
His podcast is The Walk A Little Slower Podcast with Tanner Olson and can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.
Tanner Olson travels around the country sharing poetry, telling stories, and delivering messages of hope.
You can follow Tanner Olson on Instagram (@writtentospeak) and Facebook where you’ll daily find encouraging words of faith and hope.
