Brave

Brave
Part of the January Writing Prompt Series.
A poem about releasing and moving forward. 


My mind cannot keep from thinking about life before 24.
At night, between tossing and turning I’ve been digging deeper, finding myself below the present surface.
I’ve created underground tunnels to every mistake, carved routes to concerns, and shortcuts to my shortcomings.
A portal to the past and I’m ready for this adventure to no longer last.
In the morning I’m left with French tip dirt filled fingernails and calloused confusion.
Ripped up by regret and there is no surprise I’ve got bags under my tired eyes.
For years I lived beneath the shadow of why.
And it’s not love I question.
I know He loves me, just because He does.
It is uneasiness.
In what I have done and what I never did.
In who I was before I began to understand. 
The hurt my words and hands have caused.
The promises I put on pause.
The attempts I made in exchange for empty applause.
There is only so much weight my mind can take. 
And I won’t take it anymore.
I can’t take it anymore.
I don’t need to take it anymore.
Tonight I’ll grab the shovel and begin to fill the holes with grace and peace.
The truth will seep into every aching crack as I say goodbye to the trap of looking back.
I’m slowly moving forward. 
Removing the rust as I remember I am known.
Shaking the dust as I go.
Because I have to go. 

After all, it is brave to leave behind what was meant to stay in the past.


With hope,

Tanner

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