Eleven Years Later
On January 31, 2013 I sat down at my computer and started.
I was living in a one bedroom apartment in St. Louis, Missouri.
The floors were wooden, the walls thin, the kitchen small, but for some reason I cannot remember if there was a bathtub or a shower in the bathroom.
I think it was a shower.
On that cold Thursday in January I logged into Facebook and created a page to share my writings.
I named the page, “Written to Speak.”
This was the start.
I posted something I had written and I would do this again and again.
And again.
And again.
I would write and edit and overthink and write some more and eventually click the share button.
These were the days when I called myself an aspiring writer, even though I wrote every single day.
When someone asked me what I wanted to do with my life I would tell them I wanted to be a writer.
It was my dream to be a writer, to one day hold my very own book.
Now that I think of it a little more it was a bathtub.
11 years ago. This is the face of someone who knew what he wanted but didn’t know how to get to where he was trying to go.
There are no instructions for chasing your dream except you have to start.
Starting is the hardest, but the most important step.
You’ll have to start every single day.
Even tomorrow.
This is exhausting, but beautiful work.
Most work worth doing is exhausting and beautiful.
After you start, you’ll have to continue.
Continue through the uncertain and unknown.
Continue through the doubt with faith.
Continue through the typos and grammar mistakes and all the other mistakes, because you’re going to make a lot of mistakes.
Continue with empty pockets and open hands and greasy fingers that leave marks on your computer keyboard.
Continue with coffee and prayers and questions and journals and books and inspiration and more coffee and pastries and long walks to clear the head that is full of thoughts and ideas and dreams and run on sentences that never seem to end.
Continue to remember why this is your dream and keep chasing it one step at a time.
No, it wasn’t a bathtub. It was definitely a shower.
When you chase your dream you’ll have to make changes.
Life cannot stay the same when you want it to be different.
To begin, you will need to drop the word aspiring and believe that you are a writer.
A real writer.
You’ll have to believe you are not just chasing a dream, but living out something beautiful.
You’ll need to change how you handle adversity and criticism and writer’s block.
There will be times when you will compare yourself to others.
This is a trap.
There will be times when you second guess yourself and wonder if it is worth it.
This is worth it.
There will be times when you will want to be anywhere other than where you are, but you will need to be right where you are.
This is how you grow.
There will be times when you feel like giving up.
This is normal.
There will be times when you believe you can earn your worth, but you are always loved regardless of your performance.
This is the truth.
As you continue, you’ll need to remind yourself that this, as wild as it may be, is the way God has asked you to go.
You’ll need to wake up early or stay up late and still somehow find a way to get enough sleep to keep going.
Keep going.
You’ll grow tired and wonder why you’re doing what you’re doing.
You’ll replay the mistakes and forget to admire how far you’ve come.
You’ll make friends and lose friends.
You’ll write things that are good and bad and only loved by your mother.
You’ll fail and succeed and need to be reminded to celebrate the small victories.
You’ll learn more about yourself than you could ever imagine.
You’ll remember who called you crazy and who doubted you, but mostly who loved you as you took those small faithful steps forward.
You’ll look back and thank the very God who you believe gave you this dream.
And before you know it will be years later.
For me, it is 11 years later and I’m still here with my fingers on the keyboard.
I’m still dreaming.
I’m still taking small steps forward.
I’m still giving what I have.
I’m still finding the words.
I’m still continuing and trying.
I’m still taking it one letter, one line, one page, one chapter at a time.
I’m still second guessing myself.
It was a bathtub.
About the Author
Tanner Olson is an author, poet, speaker, and podcaster living in Nashville, Tennessee.
He is the author of I’m All Over the Place, As You Go, Walk A Little Slower, and Continue: Poems and Prayers of Hope.
You can find Tanner Olson’s books on Amazon.
His podcast is The Walk A Little Slower Podcast with Tanner Olson and can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.
Tanner Olson travels around the country sharing poetry, telling stories, and delivering messages of hope.
You can follow Tanner Olson on Instagram (@writtentospeak) and Facebook where you’ll daily find encouraging words of faith and hope.
