Write, Speak, and Live Honest Words of Love
by Tanner Olson
writtentospeak.com

On a Saturday evening I read poetry in the basement of a church in Wausau, Wisconsin.

My friend Abby was there, wearing the first sweatshirt I ever made.

It was a gray sweatshirt with the words, “WRITE, SPEAK, AND LIVE HONEST WORDS OF LOVE.” 

I made about 100 of these sweatshirts in 2015, back when I first started writing.

I had no idea what I was doing.

I didn’t know about branding or running a business or what my hope for the future was.

2015 seems like forever ago.

A lot has changed since then.

I got to know Abby while working at Camp Luther in Three Lakes, Wisconsin.

For as long as I’ve known her she has been kind and inviting and hopeful.

She loves Jesus and loves people and there isn’t a more powerful combination.

Abby lives out the words printed on the sweatshirt.

At the time I worked and lived full-time in Northern Wisconsin, serving as a Program Director for the camp. 

For a summer I got to be her boss and that was the last time I was a boss of anything.

I loved the job and the people I got to serve alongside, but I wasn’t very good at it.

I wanted to be liked and accepted.

I didn’t want to make hard decisions or say no.

It’s hard to be a leader when you are insecure and alone and sensitive and a twenty-something.

Although I loved the job and community, where I was wasn’t where I wanted to be forever.

I wanted to be a writer and live in a place where winter didn’t last 8 months of the year.

I was torn between where I was and where I wanted to be.

I gave the job everything I had, but when your life is lived without rest and boundaries you aren’t able to give your best. 

I didn’t know how to take time off or how to have a life outside of camp.

I didn’t know how to be healthy or how not to take things personally.

Every now and again I get to over-thinking about my time at camp. My mind wanders down winding roads it doesn’t need to. Roads I often visit on nights I can’t sleep. I think about how I should have handled this situation differently and how I should have navigated this relationship differently and how I should have managed my responsibilities differently.

I get hung up on that word … differently.

Sometimes I wish I could do it all again, but differently.

I tell myself that I would be better at living out the words on that sweatshirt. 

I tell myself that I would be healthier.

I tell myself a lot of things.

But you can’t go back, you can only go forward. 

The past can be a heavy and loud thing if you let it. 

When I find myself walking down the long road of what was, I have to stop and remind myself of grace and mercy and how you don’t know what you don’t know.

And back then there was much I didn’t know.

When I return to Wisconsin I want to yell, “I’m different now!”

No longer am I the person I was, but I still believe we should write, speak, and live honest words of love.

With hope,

Tanner Olson
@writtentospeak

About the Author

Tanner Olson is an author, poet, speaker, and podcaster living in Nashville, Tennessee.

He is the author of I’m All Over the Place, As You Go, Walk A Little Slower, and Continue: Poems and Prayers of Hope.

You can find Tanner Olson’s books on Amazon.

His podcast is The Walk A Little Slower Podcast with Tanner Olson and can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.

Tanner Olson travels around the country sharing poetry, telling stories, and delivering messages of hope.

You can follow Tanner Olson on Instagram (@writtentospeak) and Facebook where you’ll daily find encouraging words of faith and hope.