and i’ve stepped past the start
and i’m just trying
to chase after God’s own heart
and i’m just trying to not
fall apart
.. .. ..
The other day I saw a woman with a shirt that in bold letters read

BE BRAVE.

I thought

No thanks.
Not today.
I’m good.

It’s not easy to be brave.
Being brave is scary.
And exhausting.
And most days I don’t want to be brave.
Let’s be honest, I want to be asleep on the couch hidden from the world.

But something deep within me believes we are to be brave.
That we can be brave.

One of the first spoken word poems I remember listening to was a poem called ‘Manly Man’ by Bradley Hathaway. In his poem he exclaims, “Like David, I wanna be a man after God's own heart.”

When I first heard Hathaway’s
poem I thought, me too.

Me too.

I want to be like David (minus killing people and adultery and all those things, you get it).
I want to be a man after God’s own heart.
I want to live out the words of Jesus.
I want to be a better man than I have been.

But being a man after God’s own heart means I’m no longer chasing after my own.

And being a man after God’s own heart means I’m leaving fear behind for what God has in mind.
It’s surrender.
It’s obedience.
It’s trust.

I want to be a man after God’s own heart

And .. I guess I do what to be brave. .

Peace,

Tanner Olson
Written to Speak

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