When someone comes to me with a struggle or concern, I often feel pressure to say the right thing at the right time and in the right way.

Foolishly, I believe my response can bring healing of some sort.

… It can’t, but sometimes I think it can.

In the moment, if I am being honest, I hardly ever get my response correct.

I fumble over my words and offer something I end up wanting to take back.

Hours later a lightbulb goes off above my head and I realize what should have been said.

Usually, it’s too late.

The other day I was on the other side of the conversation.

I was sharing with a friend something that had been troubling me.

They listened in silence.
They nodded along.
They didn’t interrupt or change the subject.

And then, after a moment or two of silence, they said exactly what I needed to hear.

“I hate this for you.”

That’s what I needed to hear.

I didn’t need them to send me Jeremiah 29:11.
I didn’t need them to respond with, “it could be worse.”
No one ever needs you to respond with, “it could be worse.”
I didn’t need them to say sorry for something that isn’t your fault.
I didn’t need them to remind me that God’s timing is perfect.
I didn’t need them to share a story about how you had a friend going through something similar.
I didn’t need them to tell me it would get better.

I needed to hear them say, “I hate this for you.”

His response didn’t bring healing or make me magically feel better, but his response did make me feel less alone.

I felt seen.
I felt known.

Because I hated this for me, too.

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