High School Heartbreak

It happened my sophomore year of high school. 

A few days earlier some friends told me that she liked me.
And they knew that I liked her. 

Apparently I wasn’t good at hiding my feelings.

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Word at our high school traveled fast and I knew I needed to tell her before she found out from someone else.

That same day I stopped by her locker and told her with a shaky voice … 

I like you.

And at this point, everything was happening way too fast.
And things really sped up when she told me that she liked me, too! 

That afternoon I didn’t walk home from school, I floated.

This was the end of me and the beginning of us. 

A few days later, I walked up to her locker to officially ask her out.
Although she had just told me she liked me, I didn’t think she was going to say yes.
I was a sweaty and nervous high school boy.
What a rough combination. 

But there I stood, in the same place where days earlier she told me she liked me.

“Would you like to go out this Friday?”

I did it.
I asked.
No trophy was needed for this achievement. 

But something wasn’t right.
Something besides the amount of AXE Body Spray I had on.

The look in her eyes did not match the words she spoke days earlier. 

She told me that she would not be able to go out with me …
Because she had a boyfriend and they were going to Disney.
I couldn’t compete with Disney. 
Who can compete with Disney?

I was heartbroken.

And quite amazed at how fast she had moved on from me. 

A few days later, it was Valentine’s Day. 

Of course it was Valentine’s Day.

I had nothing to celebrate.
I stuck a nametag on me that said “single” and walked around the school like I was Cinderella’s 8th Dwarf named Mopey. 

This happened 14 years ago. 

A lot has changed since that heartbreaking day.

It is good to be somewhere different than where I used to be, but I know I needed to go through what was to get to what has become.

Somehow, through it all, Valentine’s Day has never been the same. 

Maybe for you today is a weird day or a hard day.

Maybe today is a day where you just want it to be tomorrow. 

No matter how or where this Valentine’s Day finds you, I hope you know that someone, somewhere is happy you’re here.

I certainly am. 

And yes. 

It's okay to want things to look different than they do today. 

It's okay to ask why. 

It's okay to wonder when. 

It's okay to not love this day.

Valentine's Day can be weird. 

But today, it is reminding me to love.

Not just to love a little, but to love big. 

And today, I am reminded that today we can celebrate more than romantic love.

Today we can celebrate the love that we are surrounded by.

We can celebrate growth.
and friendships.
and even breakups.

We can also celebrate our love for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Today I am reminded that love is a good thing, and it is love that I have to give. 

And just like I needed to know in high school, I’m learning that we don’t have to have it all figured out to go side by side through this life.

On a day that might tell you that you are alone, I hope you know you aren’t.

We are here with you.

We are for you.

We are going and growing together. 

Because there’s no better way to go than together. 

Peace,
Tanner Olson
Written to Speak

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