More and more I’ve been reminiscing about 2003 and 2004, and as of late I’ve been wishing it was 2007 or 2008.  

Not to change today, but to relive how I became who I am.

I want to retrace my steps, say a little less, try a little harder than my best.

I want to hold tight to the love in my young hands and speak up when I don’t understand.

I want to slow down and breathe deep and give you a better memory to keep.

I want to listen close when you tell me life is heavy and fragile instead of waving you off with a half smile.

And maybe it’s time to bury the past I’m trying to get back.

And maybe it’s time to say goodbye to what was and step into what has beautifully become. 

Maybe it’s time to take the dirt and sprinkle it over the failures that keep the sun asleep.

Maybe it’s time to take the flowers and throw them over the messes I’ve created and caused.

Maybe it’s time to say hallelujah and amen and begin with grace again.

Maybe it’s time I come to realize here and now is the only place I was meant to be. 

It’s all heavy.

It’s all fragile.

But all of this is good.

.. .. ..

With hope,

Tanner Olson

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